bonnie and clyde from crypto had their (alleged) crime spree abruptly curtailed on Tuesday.
Heather “Razzlekhan” Morgan and Ilya “Dutch” Lichtenstein were arrested for conspiring to launder bitcoin now worth $4.5 billion
Reading: Bitcoin bonnie and crypto clyde
while the rise and fall of bonnie and clyde unfolded in the press, their crypto counterparts recounted their lives on social media.
this is the love story of dutch and razzlekhan, the (alleged) criminal couple who stole our hearts.
chapter 1: love at first sight
The couple hasn’t revealed how they met, but they clearly had a lot in common. both share similar interests and an amazing range of skills.
Razzlekhan calls himself an economist, serial entrepreneur, Forbes writer, and Saas investor. she also works as a “surrealist artist, rapper and fashion designer”.
dutch, meanwhile, describes himself as a tech entrepreneur, explorer, and “occasional wizard.”
clearly put a spell on razzle, who revealed her own seduction techniques in the soulful love song, moon n stars:
come here, let me grab you
grab, grab, grab already
grab, grab, grab, grab
grab grab grab
chapter 2: eating and drinking
In their early days of dating, razzle was hard to come by.
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but he finally succumbed to dutch’s charms. they grew closer over a mutual love of pancakes.
chapter 3: domestic happiness
In no time, the young lovers had moved in together. according to the new york times, they rented a $1 million condo in a luxury building in manhattan.
The couple seemed to have the perfect relationship.
However, his life was not always a bed of roses. like any strong couple, they survived some relationship tests.
chapter 4: raising a family
The duo weren’t alone for long. The lovebirds soon welcomed a new member of the family to their nest: a cat named Clarissa. Naturally, Bengal has her own Instagram account.
The young family shared everything: their home, their hearts, and their cat food.
chapter 5: doing business
budding tycoons decided to mix business and pleasure. When Razzle became General Manager of Sales, Dutch joined the email marketing company as a consultant.
on August 1, 2016, razz thanked her partner for inspiring her to be a better businesswoman. she also “joked” that she loved getting in trouble with him.
— charlie 🏆 (@ground_chuck7) February 8, 2022
A day later, a huge amount of bitcoin was stolen from the cryptocurrency exchange bitfinex.
chapter 6: the proposal
dutch promptly popped the question, and razzlekhan said yes!
The intricate proposal involved blanketing New York in Razz posters and splashing his face on a Times Square billboard.
dutch called it “a weird and creative multi-channel marketing campaign” that “captured the essence of razzlekhan: surreal, mysterious, creepy and sexy.”
chapter 7: the wedding
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Wedding plans were soon underway. razzlekhan promised the “razzle$t, funnest & the most creative non-traditional wedding ever!”
It was all that and more.
well at least they had a crazy wedding at the convention center before the doj arrested them https://t.co/ulkrhkfiay pic.twitter.com/itvzraxye8
— henry mcculloh (@hmcculloh) February 9, 2022
chapter 8: giving back to the community
The newlyweds were eager to share their love and wisdom with the world. The tech entrepreneur was also a Forbes contributor.
In an article for Forbes, Razzlekhan gave advice on how to protect a business from cybercriminals.
He also gave a talk, titled: “How to social engineer your way to anything.”
Dutch was also keen to contribute. In a Twitter post, he criticized an article for including “almost nothing about how to secure your keys [to access Bitcoin].”
Unfortunately, he appears to have had trouble securing his own keys from federal officials.
dutch allegedly kept his in a us-based cloud storage account. uu. some might say it’s a rookie mistake, but it’s hard to think straight when you’re crazy.
and the damn article didn’t tell you how to secure your keys pic.twitter.com/yj0zgnajlg
— cryptotire_early (@livingdadreamz) February 8, 2022
epilogue: true love never dies
The (alleged) crime spree may be over, but this love story will never die. at least not until dutch and razzlekhan shut down their social media accounts.
Until that happens, there is still hope that crypto love will conquer all.
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